Charlie Foxtrot
Yesterday, I shipped out a phone and hopefully that will end the madness. Here is a (hopefully) concise rundown.
September 2008 - I upgraded my cell phone to a Maroon enV2. I was happy as a clam and enjoyed the mobile web and all that fun crap.
Summer 2009 - External keypad spontaneously quits. Well, to be specific, the numbers would come and go, but the ‘OK’ button would not work, and it wasn’t OK. The OK button is used to unlock the phone without flipping it open. I just dealt with it for a while, but got fed up.
July 13, 2009 - Took enV2 to my local Verizon store where the CSR said that they’d FedEx me a new one for free and that I would have to send the broken one back using the prepaid FedEx return label within 10 days or I would be charged the full amount for the enV2. (Aside: I went through this maybe 2 years prior with another model of phone and that had gone off without a hitch.)
So, I cleared all the stuff off it and sent it back as instructed. On the same day I sent out a return via USPS to Amazon.
A charge of $279.99 shows up on the next bill. Not okay. I call, they apparently never received said phone. Also told them I no longer have the return tracking number (I blame this on too much faith in them. Heh.) which clearly isn’t thing, but it’s a fact, so let’s move on.
September 16, 2009 - Filed a Returns Investigation so that someone can search the warehouse to see if it made it there. Was assured by this CSR that it was going to be found and even if it wasn’t, the $279.99 charge would be reversed. Added bonus: called FedEx who treated me like shit and then made a trip over to the post office just to see if they’d picked it up by mistake, which BTW is very insulting to them.
Needless to say, the phone was not found.
November 4, 2009 - Filed another Returns Investigation with another CSR “just to make sure.” Result: phone still lost.
By this time, I’ve spoke to just about every CSR and Financial Services rep they have employed, and for the most part, they love to just brush me off and rush me off the phone. What a great feeling that is! I also have had Past Due notices start to creep in. That’s fun. I check FedEx and USPS one more time and find that, indeed, they think me a complete asshat. Lovely.
Then in the mail comes an offer. The Verizon Private Sale, where, because I am such an AMAZING customer, I have the chance to buy a brand new enV3 for $50 (after rebate and plus taxes and, oh yeah, a goat sacrifice).
Wait a minute. $50 < $279.99! So, can I just send back the replacement Maroon enV2 and get the charge reversed and then buy a shiny new phone for $50?
So I call a CSR named Irwin who tells me that I have a SMASHING idea, and he’ll even send me another FedEx label that should get to me in 48 hours. So, I go get a new phone! Yay! NEW PHONE! It does some fun stuff the old one didn’t and it’s pretty and shiny!
I bet you think this story ends there. OH HOW WRONG YOU ARE.
November 24, 2009 - I’m texting in class. Well, I’m trying to. WHY CAN’T I TEXT? OH! I KNOW! PICK ME! It’s because my phone’s been shut off because I haven’t paid them $279.99 even though we’ve paid them the real amount of the bill on time since this whole debaucle started. I call and talk to 2 more employees, and they turn the phone back on and waive the reconnect fee since I’ve been talking to someone employed by Verizon every day since July and had already explained to 100 people why things are the way they are. Rep from Financial Services tells me to just send the phone myself and not wait for label and pay for it myself.
I call back later because nobody bothere to give me the address to send the thing and speak to CSR Brenda who is now the goddess of my universe. She basically tells me everyone else was a moron and helps me more than any other CSR has. She tells me that Irwin was an asshat and that it takes about 10 days to get a label in the mail. She gives me the address and confirms that I should send the phone back ASAP on my own dime AND SAYS THAT SHE’LL MAKE SURE MY ACCOUNT IS CREDITED WITH THE AMOUNT I PAY FOR SHIPPING. (!!!) She reassures me that even if the warehouse folk won’t take off the $279.99 charge, she’ll make sure a courtesy credit is issued to me for that amount. I have her email address and she’s personally handling my account for me now.
Like I said. GODDESS.
Yesterday I went to my local shipping store and had it sent out via FedEx and I now track it’s every move via my cell phone.
You know the one. That shiny new enV3.